The power is out. Thunderstorms. After Thanksgiving!! So now I am anxious that I will oversleep. I went and bought a battery alarm clock because the one I have is not impressed by the battery and will not turn on. I am anxious that I will be late to work even if I wake up because I will have to stop somewhere to shower on the way. I skipped today, if I skip tomorrow I will look like that episode of The Walking Dead where they eat dogs. Hint…shit had gotten grim. And my hair requires a blowdryer. I am anxious that the security alarm will start screaming when the power comes back on after I go to work and torment my animals for god knows how long. I am thinking about fish that will rot in the freezer. I have earplugs in my ears because without music or the tv, every sound in the dark scares me. I. Am. A. Wreck. Because. The. Power. Is. Out.

That is not normal. I think we can say I made the right call by refilling that ssri prescription. Oh, also nothing will show you how dirty your house is like walking around with a flashlight. I am so embarrassed and it’s just me here. I did go to the gym mostly to charge my phone but I figured as long as I’m there, why not at least pretend I’m working out and hop on the treadmill. So that was good I guess. Yep, I just heard something and jumped like the Yankees were coming. I am in the pits of anxiety and the view is awful. THIS is the feeling that I drank to make stop. I won’t drink. But this god awful “everything is going to go wrong and I feel like a bear is chasing me” feeling is why I drank.

 

4 thoughts on “Fade to black lol

    1. It is so awful to feel regularly how one would reasonably feel if you were hiding in a closet while a killer walks through your house. Except it is because the power went out. Or because you forgot to put a hold on your mail delivery. Or because it’s really windy. It is very confounding because in my job, I never panic. I can hold it together in actual life or death struggles but left alone with my thoughts in my life, the imagined end result is usually fire.

      Liked by 2 people

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