I was worried about my cat for weeks, finally got up the courage to take him to the vet and she just called to confirm his labs came back and he is fine. Just skinny by nature. And spoiled into picky eating. $250 to find out I enabled my cat into only eating tuna and…
I took my cat to the vet today. This involved overcoming great anxiety about the certainty that I would receive bad news. He has been losing weight regardless of how much i supplement his food. I cried waiting and when the vet came in and said "You have a very ssss" I thought she was…
The power is out. Thunderstorms. After Thanksgiving!! So now I am anxious that I will oversleep. I went and bought a battery alarm clock because the one I have is not impressed by the battery and will not turn on. I am anxious that I will be late to work even if I wake up…
So as I was in bed in the late afternoon, the weight of unknown anxieties sitting on me, a voice from deep inside said "Just try. You have to TRY." I managed to get up. Shower. Do some laundry. Clean out the refrigerator and take out the recycling. I went to the grocery store and…
An essay on self-indulgent whining... I miss that puffy pink cloud of super early sobriety. This has been a trying time and I wonder if I would be handling it better drunk. I would be in a cycle of numb and hungover that keeps me from feeling anything long enough to sustain rage or sorrow.…
Because I am sober, unmedicated, watching election returns in a hotel with a full mini bar.
Friday night I rushed to a concert straight after work. I ran in there in my scrubs but I didn't care. I was tired but I wanted to see the show and I wanted to get this first sober concert in the books. It has been a few years since I was at a show without…
99 sounds like many days. It sounds like enough days to be well on my way to new and improved. I feel...sad. The bliss of pirouetting sober down the sidewalk has worn off. The birds and wee forest creatures are no longer singing me songs. Though a bird did crash into my house as I…
Today is 90 days without a drop of alcohol. No beer, no wine, no liquor. No direction. No clarity. No magic beans. Three months ago I would read blogs by people three or six months into sobriety and not understand why they weren't walking on sunshine. The first 30 days I was wrapped in a…
So I went on my trip. Even though anxiety was telling me that my house was gonna catch fire and my cat would die while I was gone. I got up that morning and I did laundry, I cleaned out my car, I took out 60 gallons of recycling, I cleaned out the refrigerator, I…
Nursing Grudges and Liquor 