And I feel like nothing has changed except that can’t be true. I have been sober for over 10 months. I am face to face with an anxiety disorder that I am soooooo sick and tired of. Nothing to dull the racing heart and feelings of impending doom. Just me and the invisible tiger that is always one step behind me. Wanting to run so fast and so far but unable to lift my head from under the covers. Today was a bad anxiety day. So was yesterday. I have an appointment in a few days with a psychiatrist. Again. I hate the medicine because the medicine makes me fat. But the invisible tiger is winning and I can’t stand it anymore so here we are. I have managed to leave the bottle of vodka that I bought almost a year untouched through many attacks of anxiety and a few spells of wanting to give up on this sober thing. So there’s that. And that is a good thing.